Sunday, 11 December 2011

Veiled Within


she journeyed within the circles of
the violent storm which,
keeps hitting her, over and over, 
and over and over again;

 but she doesn't stop,
 she doesn't give in;
 she still stays strong,
 and doesn't move.
she takes one resolute step after another
though left in broken pieces
she, doesn't even try, to
collect herself together

the anger throbs in her head,
 the frustration seeps in, 
 the obsession unravels
yet she remains hidden

but as her feelings 
find their way
she ardently starts to pray
because,
 she doesn't want her eyes
 to give her secrets away...


Tuesday, 29 November 2011

your mellow murmurs


i will drift away
as i hear you sing,
and your beautiful voice
in my eyes will bring,
tears surging out, 
like summer spring;

so i will close my eyes, 
let it flow
as my dreams will slowly, 
grow two wings
and even if, you let me go
you will still be my prince

but hand in hand, we will walk the path
as your mellow murmurs, soothe my heart, 
we will cross each journey
with that silent vow
to never loose hope
to never part 
<3



Friday, 25 November 2011

Dear, You...

<3
...every once in a life, we get that one person, who reflects back on our every action, reaction and words.


i found that person three years back.


you came to me in form of a best friend, an angel sent down from heaven, 
someone sent to guide me right, to be there for me each night, to care for me, and to act not like a shadow, but merrily, a mirror

I was the barren land
and you were its first dandelion

when I went silent, 
you became my words,

when I closed my eyes,
you opened yours wide,

when I felt myself slipping away, 
you held on tight

and when I fell in the darkness of despair, 
you were the only light

I still remember, 
the way my hope had once shattered

and the way you collected it
and saved it from going to tatters

the way you willingly offered your luck
when I lost mine

and the way you gave your heart
even when I broke yours outright

but my angel always remember
that no matter what i do, or say

i still love you, without a doubt
you are a secret, I am obsessed about

a sweet memory i can, never drive out




Friday, 18 November 2011

Riding a seesaw life...

Isn't it amazing, how that one person can mean so much, the way the same person, who makes you cry the most, could make you laugh the hardest too...!

Isnt it weird, how we can smile so much, when the others are so sad


ever wondered how when one person dies, another arrives


ever realized the way there is a day and a night



the way there's heaven and hell!

the way things end, but always with a beginning...



the way there is life and death
..devils and angels 


...tears and smiles...


ever considered how the summer is always replaced by the winter, and the sun always by the moon!


how some people have a thousand enemies, but then have that one friend, who  is worth those thousands.

we are living at a delicate balance, its not always about reaching the sky, but sometimes, we gotta look down, and realize that, we can get tired of flying one day...




life is like a seesaw, you got to balance it right, or else you will end up crashing down.



Friday, 11 November 2011

Keeping Faith


Liberating his grip, he watches it fall away; watches the petite granules of time flow away with the wind, sees them getting caught here and there, everywhere but him.

He is loosing her, feels her crumbling away...and the harder he holds on, the more it flakes off!

Blinded by fate’s sharp turns, he was left alone, with nothing to think, nothing to loose, nothing to feel, but her unattainable presence.

he walked along the path clueless, not knowing where to go, not knowing what to do, what to look ahead to and what to wish! It’s a trail leading him through the graveyard of his memories, and he walks wordlessly.



no one knows the storm inside
no one knows the battles he fight
no one knows its he, who was left behind

It had all come back, what he forever wanted had returned to him, what he wanted to hear was finally heard by him, what he wanted to see was finally seen by him, but he lied there feeling less! Not knowing how to answer...! he is so used to being lonely, so used to the cruel feelings, that the storm which used to once come roaring in, had pacified itself, and dwelled with him silently.
Just an illusion, that's what he thinks he is, and thinks he can just fade away... ebb noiselessly, and unobserved!


He forgets that life is not in his hands, the book of his providence is with someone better, more trust-able, more immortal. It is someone who has already written his lifeline, and has preserved it in a cover, its someone who wants good for him,


he has to realize that life will go its own way, and no matter how hard we try, no matter how hard we fight, we wont win our way, we are too small to combat life,

He has to realize, that what will happen, will happen for the best, and that we have to have faith.

He has to realize, that when God gives us something to hold onto, we should never embrace it too tight, because when He asks for it back, it becomes hard to let go

He has to realize that there's a difference between, hope and expectations.  

He has to hope for the best, but expect the worst :)

He has to have faith,he has to believe.






Saturday, 5 November 2011

Escape


Thinking of a happy place
I am trying to escape,
This life’s fast pace
But my mind is in disgrace
I feel so misplaced
Forgot what I started with, forgot my base

And now I hesitate
I frown and I hate
I want to find an opening 
I want to find your face

But I think its too late
Because,
Though all this time I have been,
Trying to erase.
And all this time I have been,
Trying to replace
But you have left me so dazed
I am so lost in this maze

I want to find an opening, 
I want to find another way

Because I get stuck halfway
When I think about those days
And feel you slip away
I want to have the old you
But then I see you go your way

I am desperate to find an opening
To find an exit gate.


p.s: i know this piece is a little raw, but i tried so hard to fair it out, it didnt work, i guess words aren't enough to describe how i really felt while writing this.

Saturday, 22 October 2011

Her Frail Strength



the cold keeps meeting her halfway
the night slowly crawls, over her bright days
and though the sunlight breaks away,
she walks,obliviously, carrying her broken faith


her stilted smile still remains
without a droplet from her eyes 
she drenches, in the rain
she is so dispassionate and stultified
yet she doesn't complain


she makes up her mind,
not to turn back
decides to leave it all behind
and prepares to combat


but as a vestige of memories,
suddenly break, and enter
her mind refuses to give in
but;
her heart surrenders
and she unwillingly drifts away again,
to all that she still remembers


Saturday, 15 October 2011

Negativity, so not our thing!

hey guys em back again finally done with exams and school stuff...:)

last night i went over this massive argument with my dad about the "youth" nowadays...dad said they used to be more productive in "his days"...and i was like "no they weren't, because in your days, all they used to be productive about was about THEIR lives, not others"...he completely disagreed, saying that the youth today is very disobedient and rude, he told me that if I was the youth from "his days"..then i wouldn't have argued about this point" <roll eyes> that comment just fumed me up, and agitated i realized that i just HAD to vent everything out here!

because the question of the X generations regard for their elders doesn't merely get answered by a simple "yes" or "no"... in fact this global argument can never be fully satisfied unless we look at it from all dimensions!

Sure i do find a lot of teenagers lacking reverence for their elders, yes i witness them making rude faces behind their teachers backs, i spot many laughing their heads off upon spotting an out-sized belly of an old man. i have noticed some hiding away from their parents just to smoke a cigar or two...and i know several cases in which students never bother to follow the punitive disciplinary rules of their schools!
but is that ALL? is this enough proof to get you prejudiced about a WHOLE generation?
i dont think so!

because i don't concur to this bigoted idea of ALL the teenagers being BAD!
since i bear in mind the way every time a young school girl gives away her seat to the elderly women in the bus, the way i see several juveniles walking old people out of the old homes and into the park as a part of their "voluntary work"...i have spotted an uncountable score of youngsters who give financial support to their families by working part time alongside their studies.
moreover i have personally met many who have let go of their love lives just to accede their parents wishes of marrying "IN THE FAMILY"...the way millions of children face problems because of the petty fights and divorces their parents end up in!
similarly don't you think that the youth today knows more about their religion? don't you think they know more about their "real" culture? don't you think that they are more patriotic?

because in my opinion the youth today is so inquisitive, that they are forced to look into and study these matters instead of BLINDLY following the pre-set and fabricated rituals that are being followed by their families for centuries!

so i think JUST because the X generation is MORE spirited, MORE inquisitive and MORE aware, just because their views dont comply to that of their elders, DOESN'T mean that they are rude.
IT JUST MEANS THAT THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE THEIR POINT!

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Consciousness regained...!


everything starts to spin, 
she smiles..and her heart laughs out in glee...
"finally a change, finally death has taken out its time to knock on her door"
with that thought, darkness encases her, and she falls...


 ...conciousness regained...


she wakes up to find tears in her eyes

she cries to see...
no angels by her side;
she cries out loud...
because she cant forget;
she cries so hard...
because she regrets;
she wishes it to end
desires the broken heart to mend
she yearns to die
inclines to escape...
the sullen goodbye;
 she wishes him to be her strength again
rather then just a weakness...
that drives her insane...!


upon waking up,she starts to weep, because maybe, when she fell in the deep slumber, she didn't really want to wake up again.


when faith turns to distrust
care turns in oblivion
smiles change in despair
minutes become hours
when tears burn in anger
and promises become hollow
when that strength becomes your weakness
and that love turns to hate
then one should know...that,
the best way to hold on....
is to let go" 






Monday, 3 October 2011

Life as we know it:)



dwelling upon those well-spent days...
and the people, who made them that way
i cant help but wish 
to build a bridge,
that would get me across the memory lane
and lead me back home,
where those distant faces linger
with those ever lasting smiles
and those happy tears


As i try and fight the nostalgia, 
which builds up inside of me
i feel so stuck halfway
because i know now,
that no matter how long i try to cling on
to those times,
they would still slip away,


and if only,
time would rejuvenate 
because,


when i stare out into that past
i remember nothing, 
yet, i recall the gain


but then the remains
of those scattered memories remind me...
that i could not blame anyone,
for not staying the same
since its just life playing,
playing, its most played game:)
<3

Saturday, 24 September 2011

redeemed by a dream

...As I bent down to give the finishing touches to the backdrop we were preparing for the school carnival,  I saw you from the corner of my eye...you were walking away with your head bent down...and my heart wrenched as it longed to get some warmth which could only be obtained by your loves radiation.
but it seemed unattainable, we had kept fighting vainly for days...and the tunnel of dejection seemed endless...it kept stretching on callously and mercilessly...without letting even a ray of hope pass through it.
Deep in my heart, I had forgiven you for whatever you did...and deeper in my heart, I knew that, you had forgiven me too...but God knows what was stopping us, God knows why we had suddenly become the same poles of different magnets. 
I knew that I didn't have much time left, it was now or never, because after an hour from then, you were going to leave town for a week or so...and I knew that such distance would make our hearts colder towards each other, they would become so cold that after your return they would find it hard to mingle together.

Gathering up all the courage I had, I started walking towards you, and unexpectedly, found you doing the same.
just when we increased the pace of our footsteps, and reached close to each other, something honked from outside the school gates, and you had a terrified expression on your face, you said "I have to go"...and before I could have uttered something, you turned away...and sat in the car which was the main medium to get you far away from me.
Tears filled my eyes...
...
And I woke up...!
 and sighed, 
A sigh that was a cross breed of relief and regret.

Why is it that realization always touches us, at the end of the day?

i went back to sleep, with a silent resolution that i would not let this dream waste away, i would make it up to you with a big hug as soon as you get back,
because again I knew deep down that i could not live without you, and deeper down, i knew that you couldn't do it either :)


Tuesday, 20 September 2011

my pretty winged angel :)


I love you a lot
my sweet angel
because you were always right beside me
you vowed to see to me
you loved me for my silly things
and you always, always cared


i adore you my little angel
because you were the one who understands
the only moon beam on my golden sand
the one with the extended hand
and the one who loved me, for who i am


 my bitter-sweet angel
with whom childhood secrets i had shared
you sometimes brought me to tears
through laughter or through fears
but i know you were always near
because in the end you were always there


i miss you my pretty winged angel
and though you are faraway
deep in my heart, you will forever stay
my cool breeze,in the hot may
i love you and i will always say
that you still know exactly how,
to make my day :)

something simple, i wrote for a friend of mine a year back...:)
it isnt something that great, but the person i wrote it for is all what matters:)

Monday, 12 September 2011

lullaby for my mortal angel:)





sleep sweet my angel,sleep sweet
get in those covers, and in your white bed...
forget about everything
to rest your insomniac head!


sleep sweet my angel sleep sweet.
and when you seal your eyes...
escape from this world...
go up above high
and when you touch the velvet sky
do bid goodbye
to all evil, to all lies
and darling please
when you fall in your deep slumber...
do fall...with a happy state of mind!


sleep sweet my angel,sleep sweet
and when you start to deem
forget about every misery you deem
make sure you follow that silver beam
because i am certain, that your final destiny
will give you all you need




but as you proceed...
and suddenly remember me...
who is left here crying about your finalty
who is lost in the pages of your mortality
who said she will love you...for eternity
then you should know...
that darling please
when  you see me weep
dont for a second destroy your sweet sleep
because there is someone else...
whose love is full of divinity
its the God above...who loves you more, who loves you deep
who says that you were never
the worlds to keep...
so sleep sweet my angel, sleep sweet...!:)


p.s: i blogged this again after editing it a bit:)

Sunday, 11 September 2011

Darn Darn Darn.....ever had one of those bad days when "bad" seems to be an understatement for the label of the day!:@

well i am having that kinda of A DAmned day! :#

its that kind of a day when nothing seems to be going right...my annoying Ufone signals arent working...my shitty texts are not being conveyed to my frend....i am having a bad hair day...my laptob is making weird screeching noises wenever i open tht darn thing,i got showered and literally trampled by the annoyingly correct blames put on me by the teachers at the "orientation" meeting today....got pricked by a broken piece of glass, my best friend just threatened to commit suicide <roll eyes>, fought with my mom, tummy got upset,got into an argument with my frend...and to top it all off...i got so angry due to the above reasons that i BANGED my head on the bathroom tiled wall today....Ugghhhhh....! now i have a stupid red forehead....and i think they are soon gonna get matching red swollen eyes! :@

GOSH! i hate it when i feel so HELPLESSLY annoyed...it makes my mind go all tornado like...., which leads to either a SPLITTING HEADACHE or a rude attitude...<believe me when i get mad at things, i get so sarcastic that even my closest of friends back off>


well i gotta sign off now...or else em gonna end up loosing you all too...!

p.s: i know this post is very "unlike" me...as in the girl with all "those thoughtful and sensitive" posts....but trust me anger management is a thing i have NEVER been good at!
thanks for listening to my blues and blahs
tc...!

If only...

hmmm....the cloudy skies, the dripping trees, the teary blades of grass, drenched sparrows and the crying sky...:)
<sigh> 

what could be more lovely,divine or extraordinary then these exquisite sights that we nowadays see in Karachi <3...<sigh>

if only this incredibly delightful weather would be accompanied by better conditions in most of the cities of Pakistan, if only this overwhelming weather would bring about some literacy or justice in Pakistan, if only this awe-inspiring weather ushers in some honesty, humanity and fear in our politicians!

Damn all the parties....Damn to all those voters...Damn to all those politicians...Damn us for not waking up...Damn Damn Damn...! :@ :\
Damn everybody for not making the best of this weather...! :\

may God grant us the serenity to accept things we couldn't change, the courage to change things we can...and the wisdom to now the difference...!

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Hold On :)...


the pain still resides
i have tried pushing it aside
dont want to let it all out
but dont want to keep it inside

i m hoping it burns away...
leaving no stain on my profound state
what if in my heart it dies
leaving traces of those self-inflicting lies

oh what if pain digs its grave here?
what if i coudnt run anywhere?
when would i get rid of these fears?
my sacs are filled with these foreboding tears.

help me get rid of this uncertainity
would get killed by this insecurity
you have this superiority
which in my heart gives way to inferiority

what if theres no end
what if my heart never mends
why cant lifes rules be bent
maybe these pains were Godsent..!

maybe there always comes a time
when the sun doesnt shine
when life leaves us behind
when only memories leave us feeling divine

but what really matters
is that spark
that glows even if we shatter
its called hope
a very strong rope
it helps us let go of the past
makes us recognize that everyday wont be sunny
and when we are in the darkness of despair
it reminds us
that only in the black of night
we see the stars....!!!

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Regrets







he lies, lies wrapped around in those white sheets...
he sees, sees tears rolling down his mothers cheeks...
he hears, hears loud sobs in his sisters voice
he feels, feels helpless because he doesnt have a choice


he looks up, and sees the devils face
its laughing hysterically,laughing without grace
as he sees its eyes filled with malice
he couldn't help but pine, for those wasted days


he stares towards the heaven
sees an angel crying on the seventh
they say ,he would have been able, to reach there level
if in transgression..he hadn't fallen



but now all he can do is frenetically wait
to enter in those, inexcusable gates
a place that's not of bliss, but of abyss
for he had been sinful in all life's ways 
and he couldn't get it right now
because, regretfully ,its just too late...




" i am not scared of dying, i am scared of the deedless bags i would be carrying to my Lord"