the floodgate of feelings:)

the floodgate of inconsistent feelings, set against my owns self, and then i relate to the feeling of being "nobodys enemy but my own" the tempest of thoughts, which roars inexorably within me, forces my  faith to waver back and forth, making me love the things i hate, and hate the things i love. the tempest storms around, plucking out all the onceupona courage i had, it damages the pride, and scatters my devotion, it turns the tables, and weaves its way into my mere existence, settling in, making my heart its home, and my mind its workplace! as i try to placate this uproar within me, it placates all the memories too, and as i set out on this insidious task of discovering myself, and understanding my motifs i realise that, understanding someone implies, that you stop blaming them and holding them accountable for the circumstance, it means that you know that they don't mean to voluntarily cause the pain, but it doesnt mean that you aren't pained!