it makes my heart its home. and my mind its bureau...

the floodgate of inconsistent feelings, set against my owns self, and then i relate to the feeling of being

"nobodys enemy but my own"




the tempest of thoughts, which roars inexorably within me, forces my  faith to waver back and forth, making me love the things i hate, and hate the things i love.
the tempest storms around, plucking out all the onceupona courage i had, it damages the pride, and scatters my devotion,
it turns the tables, and weaves its way into my mere existence, settling in,
making my heart its home, and my mind its workplace!


as i try to placate this uproar within me, it placates all the memories too,


and as i set out on this insidious task of discovering myself, and understanding my motifs i realise that,


understanding someone implies, that you stop blaming them and holding them accountable for the circumstance, it means that you know that they don't mean to voluntarily cause the pain,
but it doesnt mean that you aren't pained!

 "I am not what I am supposed to be. I am quite another thing. Perhaps before I go further, I had better glance at what I AM supposed to be"     charles dickens


Comments

  1. Silence29 June 2012 at 15:28

    ...they don't mean to voluntarily cause the pain but it doesnt mean that you aren't pained!
    Painful words!!! :\
    Its different from your last few works. So agonizing! Its chaotic... but its beautiful in its own way...something i can very well relate too :)
    I hope your feelings calm...this chaos...subdues! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ..the floodgate of feelings..:]2 July 2012 at 05:54

    painful but true:)

    i hope it helped you!
    mine are still on the road to recovery:)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Harrys :D9 February 2013 at 10:43

    Wow this proved to be a purgative for me right now. I can relate so well :'I

    ReplyDelete

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