the floodgate of feelings:)

. Shutting the door behind her, she entered her dark bedroom. she felt so numb that she had to grope for something to support her.... as she made her way towards her bed, she couldn’t walk, she couldn’t think, yet the only thing she intensely did was feel her sore heart getting sorer as every second passed, her wounds had dried so hard on her heart that they had formed a thick covering over it as if to trap every thing that lay inside of it! she sank to the floor near her bed...and hugged her knees tightly to her chest...as if she was trying to collect herself, putting her head between her knees she felt the unbearable weight of her head, a tempest was occurring in it...and it was blowing everything away...it crashed everything and drowned her in the vortex of memories...she felt drenched in nostalgia.... fat tears sprung out her eyes, and she wiped them only to feel more tears brushing across her cheeks!  in spite of the fact that they were cold and salty, she could feel them se...

.... I banged the front door behind me and heatedly strutted out onto the street...I was so angry at my mom for not understanding my feelings...I was furious at my sister for hogging the phone...and I was so disappointed in my best friend for letting me down...! “Why do people do that? Are expectations bound to let me down?" I silently exclaimed to myself! It was a hot and sunny afternoon and the blazing sun was giving me a massive headache...! Beads of perspiration trickled across my forehead and mingled with the tears of rage that were pouring out of my eyes...! I wanted to go back home...but was too stubborn to turn back...slumping on a bench at the bus stop... I looked toward the ground to shade myself from the blistering sun...a shattered glass caught my eye and a thought struck me! I drew near the broken glass and picked the sharpest piece of them all...I knew what I was going to do...!  I ran the blade like glass on my right hand vein.  blood oozed out viole...

summoning up my past experiences i bear in mind all those little things i did...the time when i was satisfied with those minuscule things in life...i used to find bliss in every butterfly that flew past me, in every penny that my mom used to give me when i helped her out and in every compliment that a passerby gave when i was wearing my cute red shorts with a matching hat..:)...i used to find security just by hugging my favorite teddy bear or by hiding under the covers...and the only thing i was hiding from were the monsters of the dark. i remember how paper cuts were my only wounds and my biggest fall was when i fell from the stairs...! the way i only needed crayons to color up the white spaces of my life and the way mathematic tables were the only thing that bewildered me! But growing up i experienced the want for "more"...this want grew stronger and stronger until a time came when i wanted everything to change... i wasn't satisfied with just a penny...i ...

I see a piece of broken glass on the palm of my hand...! A piece...alas that’s all what’s left of that delicate glass...yet I still don’t dare to throw it away...! To prevent it from falling...to stop it from slipping away...I close my palm snugly. I don’t ease my grasp for even a second...because I am afraid of it falling again...! The tighter I hold onto it, the more it hurts...the more resolute and stubborn my grip becomes the more I feel the pain searing in...! I look down to notice the scars which have started delving in my innocent palm, and the blood which had started dripping down precipitately...as if its afraid of missing out on something...as if it just wants to get to the end...! The pain becomes excruciating, and it forces me to relegate the broken piece from the base of my hand, which no longer looks like a palm...but resembles a destructed field, with lifeless and decomposed flowers budding inside it...! As the evil piece slowly falls and strikes ...

<nokia tune>...i pick up..."hey whats going on?? " <voice on the other end squealing> " exams season thats whats going on"... we enter the examination venue...silence prevails...only the sound of our footsteps...the opening of our pencil boxes...and the sniff of a random person nearby...! normally these voices go unheard, unnoticed! but today...all these sounds seemed to be awkwardly hanging around in mid-air, as if sniffing and walking are a major sin that the doer is committing and now he has to pay for it! as we start settling roll number wise in our uncomfortable chairs, we look around at each others faces, and see that the person sitting beside our chair is just a random class mate, whom we had never before bothered talking to...but right now they seemed like the closest of friends, because each was going through the same terrifying trauma...the same deadly fever...the same phobia...! we pass watery smiles at each other, and it feels like we hav...

hmm...after a month of racking my brains about what to do next...i found out this blog to be the best...:) people who first stopover my blog and read its name might think that its all about a sob story of a teenage girl, crying over her bad hair day, her new crush, or her recent breakup...!;)... Why do people take feelings as necessarily cheerless? Are feelings really all that bad? Are feelings really all that threatening? In my opinion feelings form our life...in my opinion feelings dont necessarily mean "feeling sad"...or "feeling depressed"...it can mean "feeling happy" or feeling "joyful".."feeling loved"...etc etc...in other words they are a way of living our life…! People say that feelings are for feeble hearted people...who aren’t strong enough to be in charge of their emotions, well that’s not true...dont we "feel" angry...dont we "feel" like hooting when in high spirits?...dont we "feel" like eatin...